9 Ways to Model Self-Control

Posted In Teaching On April 4, 2023

Model self-control to create a classroom environment where students learn to pause, think, and act intentionally rather than impulsively. In the classroom, students struggling with self-control often face challenges regulating their behavior, leading to disruptions and missed learning opportunities. Teaching self-control is essential but demonstrating it through intentional modeling is often the key to helping students internalize these skills. By consistently modeling self-control, educators can provide students with real-life examples of navigating emotions, making thoughtful decisions, and maintaining focus.

9 Practical Ways to Model Self-Control for Your Students:

1. Demonstrate Breathing Techniques

When you feel overwhelmed or need a moment to center yourself, use a breathing technique and explain the process to your students. For example, you might say, “I’m going to take a deep breath in through my nose, hold it for three seconds, and slowly breathe out through my mouth. This helps calm my body and clears my mind.” Modeling this behavior not only shows students how to self-regulate but also normalizes the use of calming strategies.

2. Consider Consequences Before Acting

Before making a decision, verbalize your thought process to the class. For example, if you’re deciding whether to address a minor disruption immediately or wait until later, you might say, “I’m thinking about the best way to handle this situation. It might interrupt the lesson if I address it now, but if I wait, I can talk to the student one-on-one. I think waiting will have the best outcome.” This helps students understand the value of pausing to weigh options and reinforces the importance of modeling self-control.

3. Identify Warning Signs

Help students recognize their triggers by pointing out your own. For instance, you might say, “When I start to feel frustrated, my shoulders get tense and my heart beats faster. That’s a sign for me to pause and take a moment to think before I respond.” This self-awareness encourages students to tune into their own physical and emotional cues and see how modeling self-control can help manage strong emotions.

4. Use Visual Reminders

Show students a visual sign or tool you use to remind yourself to pause and think. For example, you might keep a sticky note on your desk that says, “Stop and Breathe,” and explain its purpose to the class. Visual reminders can serve as effective cues for students to practice self-regulation themselves and are another way to model self-control.

5. Explain Your Communication Choices

When deciding how to phrase something, share your thought process with students. For instance, you could say, “I want to make sure my words are kind and clear. I could say this one way, but I think this other way will better communicate what I mean without hurting anyone’s feelings.” This teaches students to think carefully about their own words and highlights the importance of modeling self-control in communication.

6. Model Delayed Gratification

If you’re waiting to share an exciting idea or announcement, explain how you’re keeping the thought in your mind. You might say, “I’m really excited to tell you about something, but I’m waiting until the right moment. I’m keeping my focus on what we’re doing now so I don’t lose track.” This shows students how to prioritize and stay present.

7. Demonstrate Turn-Taking

During discussions, model how to listen actively and wait for your turn to speak. After a student shares, you could say, “I waited until they finished talking so I could hear everything they had to say. Now it’s my turn to respond.” This reinforces the importance of patience and respectful communication.

8. Solve Problems Thoughtfully

When faced with a problem, walk students through your decision-making process. For example, you might say, “We have two possible solutions to this issue. Option one is quicker, but option two might work better in the long run. I’m going to choose option two because it’s more effective.” This encourages students to think critically and consider multiple perspectives.

9. Maintain Control in Triggers

If something triggers you, model how to regain control and explain your approach. For instance, you could say, “When that loud noise startled me, I felt myself getting tense. I took a deep breath and counted to five to calm down before deciding how to respond.” This helps students see that self-control is an active process and that it’s okay to take a moment to regroup.

Final Thoughts

Teaching self-control to students is a process that requires patience, consistency, and intentionality. When you model self-control in your classroom, you provide students with practical examples they can emulate. Over time, these lessons will help them develop the skills they need to manage their emotions, make thoughtful decisions, and succeed both academically and socially. Remember, the behaviors you model today can leave a lasting impact on your students’ lives. By intentionally choosing to model self-control, you set a powerful example that students can carry into their futures.

Additional Resources

For more insights on how to teach and model self-control, explore the links below, or sign up for our newsletter to keep up to date on the latest in executive function instruction.

• 5 Discussion Questions for Easily Fostering Self-Control in the Elementary Classroom
• Enhancing Self-Control in Middle School: A Guide for Reflective Journaling
• Teaching Self-Control: Strategies to Empower High School Students