9 Ways to Model Emotional Control

Posted In Teaching On April 18, 2023

To help students develop critical executive function skills, it is essential to model emotional control in your classroom. Emotional control refers to the ability to manage one’s feelings while completing tasks and working toward goals. Students who struggle with emotional control often react strongly to triggers or problems, making it difficult for them to focus on their studies and complete their work. By learning how to model emotional control effectively, educators can equip students with the tools they need to manage their feelings and navigate challenges.

Modeling emotional control not only demonstrates practical coping strategies but also fosters a supportive environment where students feel empowered to regulate their emotions. Here are nine specific ways you can model emotional control for your students and help them build this critical skill.

1. Narrate Your Emotional Experience

When you experience a strong emotion, explain to your students what you are thinking and how your body is feeling. For example, you might say, “I’m feeling frustrated right now because the technology isn’t working as expected. My heart is beating faster, and I’m taking a moment to think about my next step.” This transparency helps students understand that emotions are normal and manageable.

2. Demonstrate Breathing Techniques

Use a breathing technique to calm yourself and explicitly show students how it works. For instance, you can practice box breathing, inhaling for four counts, holding for four counts, exhaling for four counts, and holding again for four counts. As you breathe, explain how this technique helps you regain control. Modeling emotional control through such tangible strategies gives students a tool they can use in stressful moments.

3. Share and Generalize Emotions

Talk about a specific feeling you are experiencing, and then discuss scenarios that might evoke the same emotion in others. For example, “I’m feeling excited about our upcoming project. Just like when you’re about to play in a big game or perform in a play, this feeling makes my energy rise.” Connecting your emotions to relatable experiences helps students build empathy and self-awareness.

4. Explain Your Thought Process

When something triggers you, take a moment to explain to students how you maintained control of your actions. For example, you might say, “I felt upset when I dropped my coffee, but instead of getting angry, I reminded myself that it’s just a small inconvenience. Now I’ll clean it up and move on.” This approach shows students how to reframe situations and choose constructive responses.

5. Highlight Controllables vs. Uncontrollables

When feeling overwhelmed, model how to differentiate between what you can and cannot control. For instance, you might say, “I can’t control that it’s raining today, but I can control how I prepare by grabbing my umbrella.” Teaching students this skill helps them focus their energy on productive actions rather than dwelling on external factors.

6. Demonstrate a Pause Before Reacting

In moments of stress, show students how to take a brief pause to think before reacting. For example, if a lesson isn’t going as planned, you might say, “I’m going to take a moment to think about how to adjust this activity so it works better for us.” Modeling this pause shows students the value of deliberate decision-making.

7. Teach Proportional Responses

When facing a challenge, explain how to determine the size of the problem and choose a proportional reaction. For instance, you could say, “This mistake on the board is a small problem, so I’ll just erase it and try again.” Demonstrating proportional responses helps students avoid overreacting to minor issues.

8. Use Physical Activities to Reset

During particularly stressful situations, show students how physical activity can help reset your emotions. For example, you might say, “I’m feeling overwhelmed, so I’m going to take a quick walk around the classroom to clear my head.” This strategy highlights the connection between physical movement and emotional regulation.

9. Model Seeking Support

Explain to students whom you turn to for help when managing strong emotions. For example, you might say, “When I’m feeling stressed, I talk to a colleague or a friend to get some perspective.” Modeling emotional control includes showing that it’s okay to ask for help and rely on others.

Final Thoughts

When you model emotional control in your classroom, you provide students with practical examples of how to handle their feelings and reactions. By incorporating strategies like narrating your emotions, practicing breathing techniques, and highlighting the importance of seeking support, you help students build their emotional regulation skills over time. As a result, they will be better equipped to focus on their studies and achieve their goals. Start modeling emotional control today, and watch your students grow into more resilient and self-aware individuals.

Additional Resources

Looking for more ways to model emotional control? Explore our related blog posts:

• What is Emotional Control?
• Developing Emotional Control: 5 Practical Strategies for Middle School Classrooms
• 5 Ways to Practice Emotional Control for High School Students

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